Ode to U-Jobs

Old Alexander von O
Attacked one translating schmoe
"Shame on you," said he,
"You sent your quote to me!
And now lots of people know!"

(I won't be quitting my day job anytime soon.)

One of the most tragic victims of so-called "progress" is u-jobs. For years, we were regaled with Alexander von Obert's trenchant wit ("So what's your real job? Trash collection?"). He was inexhaustible in weeding out incompetents, idiots, the weak, the hungry and - most of all - the cheap. Yours truly once sent him a kind e-mail because his server appeared to be on the fritz. Being a service-conscious administrator, he responded immediately with a withering e-mail insinuating that I had gotten my head firmly stuck in a rather private portion of my anatomy, and would I be so kind as to remove it.

Now, u-jobs is efficient. You can't accidentally announce your prices for all the world to see. You can't send as much spam or useless advertisements. As a result, there's much less reason for AvO to weigh in with his priceless witticisms and clever comebacks to delight readers. Instead, efficiency reigns. While he may be making more money and becoming a better technical writer, we have lost the Grinch of the translation community. And that's the real tragedy.