Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before...

The Naked Translator stole my scoop today, but the story is so important that it deserves double billing.

Here's a selective quote from the BBC article:

Booker Prize to award translators

A new award honouring translators has been announced by the organisers of the international Booker Prize.

Chairman of the international Booker judging panel John Carey said: "We became increasingly aware of the huge role translators play in making first-rate fiction accessible to a global audience".

Is this just another prize? Hardly. The Booker Prize is hands down the best literary prize in the English language. The Nobel Prize is highly politicized. The Pulitzer is vanilla mainstream. But the Booker? It’s take-no-prisoners innovative. Last year’s winner was excellent, if a bit straightlaced. The also-ran Cloud Atlas, however, is the literary equivalent of a brain transplant: you never see the world the same way again.

Now take that cutting-edge approach and apply it to translation. Beautiful. I can’t wait. I really can’t.

Murphy: 4, Trench: 0

My website: down.
My computer: not working.
My new webhoster: incompetent.
My expensive bicycle: hit by a truck.

Tell Murphy that the next time I see him we're gonna throw down. I'm not taking this anymore.

It's A Bitch, Then You Die

Life. n. What gets between you and blogging.

I will resume posting once the Blogging Gods are with me again. Right now, they're hurling fire and brimstone down.

Update:
Actually the Blogging Gods are with me. Not that it helps much. As divinities go, they're 98-pound weaklings, so the other gods keep kicking their asses all over Paradise. Wimps.

David Berkowitz, Eat Your Heart Out

I'm not dead; not kidnapped. I'm just doing a big rush job right now. I'll go back to real posts tomorrow.

If you're a big Son of Sam - er - fan, you'll love this:

Son of Boss is the government’s name for a very technical, multi-step tax shelter “transaction” that was heavily marketed to high-wealth individuals, allowing them the opportunity to generate tax losses without incurring substantial economic risks or real economic losses. Son of Boss deals typically utilized a combination of the technical tax laws applicable to securities dealers, currency options, partnerships and partnership interests to inflate the basis in a foreign currency investment, which would then be sold at a large loss.

The techniques used to carry out Son of Boss deals were formally identified as abusive “listed transactions” by the Service in 1999, and again in 2000. However, these deals continued to be marketed and sold to taxpayers in 1999-2001, and beyond.

The Service discovered the widespread marketing of these transactions and filed lawsuits to obtain memoranda and investor lists from firms whose clients had engaged in Son of Boss deals. Moreover, the Service, in conjunction with the United States Department of Justice and State prosecutors, has conducted criminal investigations related to the promotion of Son of Boss shelters.

As these civil and criminal matters proceed, many of the taxpayers who “bought” the Son of Boss deals have joined in large civil lawsuits against entities involved in the sale of the shelters. Although at least one major taxpayer initiated has been settled by the law firm accused of fraud, civil law suits – along with criminal investigations – are likely to remain unresolved for years. Based on the significant dollars at issue, it appears that the Son of Boss will not be quickly laid to rest.

And:

"Son of Boss" is a spinoff of another tax shelter known as "BOSS," an acronym for Bond and Option Sales Strategy.

Things That Make Me Say Huh?

Today's TaxProfBlog said:

The new withholding guidelines are applicable when an employer has sufficient New York nexus.

Nexus: "A seller's minimum level of physical presence within a state that permits the taxing authority to require the seller to register, collect and remit sales/use tax and comply with the Country's, Province's, State's and/or County's taxing statutes and regulations."

We Are The Champions

I'm gnawing my way through excruciatingly witty ad copy today. To get through some of the bumpier spots, I've been checking out the U.S. competitors. Suddenly, I realized a big difference between U.S. and German slogans that had always bothered me on a subconscious level.

All-American slogan: "Satisfying customers for 30 years!"
Typisch deutscher Werbespruch: "Mit Erfolg seit 30 Jahren!"*

Is it just me, or do German companies come off sounding like jerks?


*"Successful for 30 years!"

Buckling Under...

Lots of work today - and more to come this weekend. But here's something to tide you over: an interesting article on managing international transactions by a Canadian lawyer. You have to register to view the article, but it doesn't take long.

He says this about language and cultural issues:

This is sometimes the biggest hurdle to overcome in an international transaction. During intense negotiations, one group may break into a foreign language, which leads the other party to suspect devious actions and bad faith. Cultural differences can often produce similar concerns: one side invites the other to join it for social activities during the negotiation process, whereas the other party prefers to remain alone. The problem is that by refusing the invitation, the party extending the invitation views the refusal as a supreme insult.

Beneath The Buzz: ITIL

CIO Magazine rips into the myth that the IT Infrastructure Library is a cure-all in this article.

The comments are interesting, too.

Actually, the entire Beneath The Buzz column is interesting. Too bad I can't say that about the rest of the magazine, which is essentially a series of advertorials.

Update: Just found a nice introduction to ITIL.

Why I Love This Job

Yesterday's topics: pens, pizza and mascara

Today's topics: money laundering

Not one second of boredom here! Well, maybe one second. Or two. But no more than two seconds of boredom!

TPB Opens A Can Of Whoop-Ass On CPAJ

The February 2005 issue of CPA Journal has an article on IRC section 509(a)(3) supporting organizations:

Supporting organizations can be used by anyone in the high-income tax bracket who wishes to retain control of assets within the family. They can receive a 50% adjusted gross income (AGI) deduction for removing the asset ownership from their estate, yet maintain virtually the same control they had as fee-simple owners.

Hmmm. A tax shelter. Hmmm. We-e-e-lllll, it's gotta be kosher, right? I mean, it's in the Internal Revenue Code and all.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I read yesterday in TaxProfBlog about

reforms to stop the use of 'supporting organizations' for generous tax breaks rather than charitable purposes.

For the record, CPA Journal had put that article in its "Essentials" section.

Source Or Target? Yin Or Yang? Death Or Hell On Earth?

In locker rooms, guys talk a lot about whether they're a "butt and legs man" or a "boobs man". In fact, that's pretty much all they talk about in locker rooms. Translation is a lot like locker rooms, except there's less risk you'll get thwacked on the ass with a wet towel in the shower.

I, myself, am a target man. Nothing floats my boat better than a sweet, juicy target text that reads, feels and sounds like the author has never been farther upstate than Bowling Green, Kentucky, let alone Germany. I hadn't done any stick-to-source* texts in so long, I had forgotten what it was like.

Until, that is, I got some standard contract terms that shriveled up my translation libido faster than a naked picture of Rush Limbaugh. For me, it was the translation equivalent of getting thwacked with a wet towel. Really hard.


Real men thwack (and translate) to the death.

*Stick-to-source: adj. Refers to texts that - c'mon, this is a humor post. Do I really gotta get into theory here? Just roll with it. Believe me, it will make it a lot funnier.

The Hired Guns Weigh In

To Whom It May Concern:

It has come to our attention that the operator of the website trenchtranslation.blogspot.com (hereinafter "the Website") has made numerous disparaging, hateful and defamatory comments regarding the World Association of Lexicographers (hereinafter "Harmless Drudges").

We hereby demand that you cease and desist from mounting any such groundless attacks against Harmless Drudges on the Website until such time as we have looked up the exact definitions of "trenchant" and "blog", and have made a determination as to whether it means "cash in the bank for us".

Yours faithfully,

Lex Luther, Esq.
Attorney-At-Law

Fischer On Phoenix

If you've been following the visa affair in Germany, Joschka Fischer is defending his position live on Phoenix right now.

Here's the link. Click on the red Live Stream button, sit back and enjoy. Have a brewski, get your chips and dip. Invite your friends over. It's like the Superbowl! Maybe Joschka will also have a wardrobe malfunction? Oh, the suspense!

Let's Play Guess The Reference!

This one goes out to all the translators in Annual Report Land:

April is the cruellest month, breeding
Profits out of the dead land, mixing
Targets and desire, stirring
Dull hopes with earnings forecasts.
Winter kept us warm, nurturing
Indexes with measured hikes, feeding
A little life with warmed-up forecasts.
The 200-point index plunge surprised us, coming over Wall Street
With a shower of gloom; we stopped in Fifth Avenue,
And went on in the sunlight, into Starbucks,
And drank coffee, and day-traded for an hour.

In A Bookstore: Vol. 4

Clerk (turning to Other Clerk): Remind me again: why am I doing this job?

Other Clerk: Because you hate translating.

Clerk: Oh, yeah. Right. (Picks up a broom and starts sweeping behind the counter. Soon, he begins whistling cheerfully)

In A Bookstore: Vol. 3

Clerk: Dictionaries 'R Us, Buddy speaking, how may I help you?

Translator: You RIP-OFF BASTARDS! I bought this CD, this, whatchamacallit, Eichborn. And now I can only use it on one PC?

Clerk: I'm sorry sir, if there are any restrictions they're not ours. We just sell the dictionaries.

Translator: 500 euros.

Clerk: Excuse me?

Translator: 500 euros is what I paid for this piece of crap. Now I gotta buy a new one if I upgrade my PC. You BASTARDS! I HOPE-

Clerk: (hangs up)

Standard Contract Terms Link

This is an interesting article on the conscionability of standard contract terms. He mentions U.S., French, German and South African contract terms. Under the reasonable expectations test of the Uniform Commercial Code

the clarity and conspicuousness of [a possibly inconsciable] term ... [are] considerations in determining knowledge of the weaker party.

Is that why U.S. standard contract terms for consumers list certain sections in caps? Do they honestly think it's easier to read?

In A Bookstore: Vol. 2

Clerk: Dictionaries 'R Us, Buddy speaking, how may I help you?

Translator: Hi, I was wondering if you could tell me how to say "property, plant and equipment" in Bengali.

Clerk: Sorry, ma'am. We can't give out that information. You have to buy a dictionary and look it up for yourself.

Translator: C'mon, I'm in a real bind here!

Clerk: Sorry, ma'am. Company policy.

Translator: Well, thanks for nothing! Bye! (hangs up)

Belle Strikes Again

Belle de Jour blitzes her readers once again. Don't walk, run to her latest post. On the menu today: the Italian translation and the U.S. edits.

In A Bookstore: Vol. 1

Clerk: Dictionaries 'R Us, Buddy speaking, how may I help you?

Translator: Got Finnish dictionaries on trout?

Clerk: Trout?

Translator: Yeah. Trout. You know, the fish? Got any?

Clerk: Let's see... just trout, or river-dwelling fish in general?

Translator: Well, I'd prefer a dictionary on the migration patterns of trout in the Yukon, but at this point, I'd settle for anything on trout.

Clerk: I'm sorry - the best I can do is "The Language of Salmonology" in Hungarian.

Translator: I'll take it! Don't let anyone else buy it. I'll be right there!

Clerk: Righty-O. (hangs up)